Dude Looks Like a Lady
by GeniaTheParadox
Summary: Dean wakes up to discover that he's been turned into a woman. And so has Sam. And Castiel. So just your average day then. [I WILL COMPLETE THIS I SWEAR]


Being a Wholockian, I have now inevitably and unavoidably joined the Supernatural fandom. It took me just over a month, but I managed to cram eight years worth of television into that time and now there is just no going back. I'm trapped. I regret everything and at the same time nothing. This is the best and worst decision I have ever made.

Anyway, the fanfiction potential of SPN is through the roof so I really had no idea where to start. Even this fic is an incomplete idea that I don't know how to end, which is why I decided to make it into chapters until I eventually stumble somewhere near a conclusion. This fic is basically my idea for an episode, although it's not really set during any particular season. And to be honest, weirder shit than this has happened on the actual show, so it's not that farfetched when you think about it. Also some Destiel is definitely going to happen in this fic, I just don't know when yet.

Anyway, throw some reviews at me. I'm new to this Supernatural stuff so reviews are the only way I will learn.

And I clearly do not own anything.

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**Dude Looks Like a Lady – Part One**

Dean stirred into consciousness on the itchy motel sheets, yawning widely as he rolled off the bed and shuffled, bleary-eyed into the bathroom. It wasn't until he was splashing cold water over his face to wake himself up that he realised that something was different... very, very different. His face felt weird, smaller and softer and completely stubble-free. Dean groped blindly for a towel and roughly rubbed his face dry, opening his tired eyes to look at his reflection in the grimy mirror.

And that's when he let out a scream.

Or, rather, _she_ did.

Because looking back at Dean through the mirror wasn't Dean at all, it was... a girl. She had Dean's bright green eyes, Dean's pouty lips, Dean's dirty blonde hair – although it was styled in a short, boyish pixie cut – she even had Dean's anti-possession tattoo peaking out under the old wife-beater vest Dean had fallen asleep in, not to mention the faint handprint on her arm from when Dean was pulled out of Hell. But... it couldn't be.

"Dean! I heard a scream, what happened?"

He turned at the sound of his name, too shell-shocked to speak, and gasped when his brother burst into the room. Instead of the younger Winchester man, Dean was met with the sight of a tall, skinny girl with tousled brunette hair that fell down to her waist, her startled eyes the exact same shape and colour as Sam's.

"Oh dear God, Sammy, it happened to you too," Dean whispered, cringing at his new feminine voice.

Sam rushed over to the mirror and let out and embarrassingly high-pitched shriek. "Holy crap! What the hell is going on?"

"Apparently we're chicks now, Sam," said Dean, frowning at their female reflections in the mirror. "I mean, yeah, we're pretty hot chicks, but still... God dammit, how did this happen?"

"I don't know," said Sam, slim fingers running nervously through his very long new hair. "Maybe some kind of witches' curse?"

"We gotta look for a hex bag," said Dean, slapping Sam on the arm to drag his attention away from the mirror. "C'mon, dude!"

They split up and looked around their entire motel room, under every nook and cranny, double and triple checked everywhere, practically turned the room upside down... but there was nothing. _Nothing._

"I don't understand it," said Sam, sitting on the edge of one of the beds, the t-shirt and boxers he'd fallen asleep in looking incredibly oversized on his new woman's body. "This doesn't make any sense."

"How the hell could we just wake up one morning and suddenly be chicks?" Dean grumbled, pacing the room. "I mean, yeah, weird shit happens to us all the time, but this is ridiculous. This crosses the line, the tolerable-weird-shit line has been crossed. I mean dammit, Sam, I have boobs! My manhood's gone, I have girl junk! I'm gonna have to sit down to pee! And what about little Dean? I miss little Dean!"

"Dean, please stop talking about your dick," said Sam, rolling his eyes. "Maybe we should call Cas. Maybe he'll be able to figure out how to fix this. I mean, for all we know we could be stuck like this forever."

"Seriously? Living out the rest of our lives as... I dunno, _Samantha _and _Deana_?" Dean shuddered. "Hell no. Hell – freaking – no."

"I agree," said Sam. "Call Cas, we need to fix this."

"Why do I have to call Cas?"

"You guys have that whole 'profound bound' thing, he always comes when you call."

Dean huffed. "Ugh, fine. Okay... Castiel, get your feathery ass down here. Something completely insane is happening and we need your help, so... breaker, breaker..."

There was a sudden sound of fluttering wings and, for what felt like the millionth time that morning, Sam and Dean gasped in surprise. Standing in the corner of their motel room was a pale, slender woman with short black hair and very blue eyes, wearing a well-fitting trench coat over a black suit jacket, white shirt, black pencil skirt, and a pair of sensible heels.

"Hello, Dean... Sam," said the woman in a rather deep and monotonous voice.

"C-Cas?" Dean stammered. "This happened to you too?"

"Apparently so," said Castiel, who didn't look any more uncomfortable than usual considering the gender of his vessel has been changed overnight. "This is the urgent matter that you needed my assistance with, I take it?"

"Obviously," said Dean, unable to drag his eyes away from the female version of Cas – he hated to even think it, but chick-Cas was kind of... pretty.

"We thought it might be some kind of witches' curse," said Sam. "But we couldn't find a hex bag, and it seems pretty unlikely now that it's affected you too. Any ideas?"

"I know exactly what has caused this," said Castiel simply.

"You do?" Dean exclaimed. "Then spill! The sooner we figure this out, the sooner we can all go back to being dudes the way nature intended!"

Castiel's eyes narrowed in confusion. "But naturally I do not have a gender, it is merely my vessel that..."

"You know what I mean, Cas!" Dean interrupted. "Who did this to us?"

"Gabriel," said Cas with a disapproving frown. "He was bored, and he says that the three of us are his favourite form of entertainment. He will change us all back when he feels like it."

"Ugh, son of a bitch!" Dean growled.

"He did this to us because he was _bored?_" Sam said angrily.

"Oh, I am gonna kick his ass!" Dean spat. "If that son of a bitch seriously thinks he can get his jollies by making the three of us go all post-op, he's got another thing coming! I'm gonna kill him!"

"Dean, relax," said Castiel calmly. "My brother has always had a... _questionable_ sense of humour. I will talk to him, see if he will reverse his little trick. There will be no need to resort to violence just yet."

Before either Winchester could respond, Castiel disappeared with a flutter of wings. Dean threw his arms up in frustration and collapsed face down on the bed, screaming into the pillow.

"We should just try and make the best of this," said Sam, as Dean continued to have a tantrum. "We're in the middle of a case right now, dude. We should just carry on normally until Cas comes back."

Dean sat up with a groan, glaring at his new sister. "What if chick-Cas can't reason with him? What if Gabriel decides to be a douchebag and leave us like this forever?"

"Knowing Gabriel, he's probably trying to teach us some lesson," said Sam with a shrug. "Remember when we were stuck in TV Land? He probably just wants us to play our roles or whatever. If he sees us freaking out he's just gonna find it hilarious and leave us this way for longer."

Dean groaned again, running a hand through his hair. "Fine. Whatever. Let's do this."

Taking a shower took longer than usual; Dean was completely distracted by his new female body. As much as he hated this, he had to admit that he made a very attractive woman. Getting dressed he realised that all of their clothes had been changed into female versions of the clothes they usually wore, all tight and fitted but not necessarily girly, which Dean was thankful for. They'd even acquired women's underwear, although putting a bra on was a lot more complicated than taking one off, so Dean gave up and went au natural. It made him feel incredibly vain, but Dean had been checking himself out in the mirror for a good twenty minutes after he'd finished getting dressed.

"I'm kinda hot," he said, looking at his new body from every angle. "I mean, the short hair and little boobs kinda make me look like a lesbian, but like a really hot lesbian, y'know? If I was regular me, I would totally buy chick-me a drink."

"Dean, please stop hitting on yourself," said Sam, struggling to tame his long, thick hair. "Ugh, I don't get why my hair is so long. How come Gabriel gave you manageable hair, but he made me a frigging Disney princess?"

"Because you already were a Disney princess, Sammy," Dean scoffed, looking over his shoulder to check out his own ass.

"And what, you already were a hot lesbian?" said Sam, rolling his eyes.

"Apparently."

Just as Dean finally tore his eyes away from the mirror there was a swoosh of feathers and the female Castiel was standing only a few inches away from his face. This close up it was impossible not to notice just how pretty chick-Cas was – those eyes really were the bluest shade of blue that Dean had ever seen.

"Cas, we... we talked about this, man," said Dean, awkwardly clearing his throat. "Personal space."

"Yes," said Castiel slowly, making absolutely no attempt to move. "My apologies."

Dean stepped back after a few long seconds of awkward eye contact, sitting on the bed and busying himself with putting his weirdly small new boots on. It seemed that this chick body was a lot more prone to blushing than he was entirely comfortable with.

"So what did Gabriel say?" Sam asked Castiel. "Is he gonna change us back?"

Castiel let out an exhausted sigh. "Not yet."

"What?" Sam and Dean both yelled in unison.

"Midnight," said Cas. "Gabriel said he would undo what he has done at midnight precisely. According to him, this is too amusing of a trick to reverse right away. He was congratulating himself profusely from the little viewing room he's created for himself."

"Whoa, whoa, hold the phone," said Dean. "Viewing room? He's _watching us?_"

"Yes," said Castiel simply.

"So when we were in the shower earlier," said Sam slowly. "And getting dressed... Gabriel was watching us?"

"On very large television screens, yes," said Castiel. "He was also making some rather lewd comments about your various physical attributes. Particularly you, Sam."

Sam shuddered and gagged, wrapping his arms around his slender new body. "Oh God..."

"So not only is Gabriel doing this as a big joke, but also to get his freaky kicks perving on us?" Dean said incredulously. "If anything, this is making me want to kick his ass more."

"Gabriel has also requested that I stay with the two of you," said Castiel. "It makes it easier for him to document us if we're all together. More entertaining that way, I suppose. Perhaps I can assist you on your case?"

"Fine, whatever," Dean grumbled, willing his stupid new body to stop blushing every time he looked at chick-Cas. "You can come with us."

"People are being picked off all over town," Sam explained. "We've seen three bodies so far and read the reports, and everything seems to point to vampires, and pretty sloppy ones too. There's just been another vic and we need to go to the crime scene, see if we can find anything that'll lead us to the nest."

"I believe I can be of assistance with that," said Castiel.

As Dean went to put on his smaller, tighter leather jacket, Castiel stepped up to him with two slim, manicured fingers ready to press against his forehead.

"Oh no, no, no," said Dean, backing away. "You're not zapping me anywhere, chick-Cas."

"But we will reach our destination faster if I..."

"No, Cas! We're driving there like normal people."

"Yeah, normal people who've been gender-swapped overnight for chuckles, _Deana,_" Sam snorted.

"Don't remind me, and don't call me that," Dean said with a frown, making his way out of the motel room with Sam and Cas at his heels. "You said it yourself we just gotta act like it's no biggie, so we're gonna carry on as normal until midnight and then when that douchebag Gabriel changes us back I can kick his ass and we can all go on with our lives."

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Hope you've enjoyed, Humble Readers.

Now here's the thing. I have no idea when I'm next going to be at a computer with working internet because I live in the Dark Ages, so I have no idea when I'm going to be able to update this.

BUT IT WILL BE UPDATED. It's going to take a while, but I shall not leave you hanging.

xxx


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